I've started writing this about 15 times now.  My decision to write again, beginning with keeping an active blog, didn't come as easily as I had hoped.  I haven't written anything in about 3 or 4 years...talk about your writer's block!  I've always believed I had many stories to tell, but somewhere along the line, the stories got stuck in my head and my heart, where they have been laying dormant.  But now, with all that's happened, I feel ready to tell my stories...no screw that...SCREAM my stories to whoever will listen.  Only problem...I'm not sure where to start.  I guess I should introduce myself?

My name is Jocelyn and I am a 33 year old butterfly.  I decided to join Mahagony Butterfly after reading their tagline "beauty. radiance. strength."  on Facebook.  That's it.  Three little words and I was in love.  I think that is what all us butterflies fell in love with no?  You see, in my logical mind, I know that I am all of those things.  I AM, WE ARE Beautiful.  Radiant.  Strong.  We are sexy, brilliant, powerful.  In my mind, I know these things, but in all honesty, I sometimes forget.  When I first decided to write again, my intention was to BECOME those three things.  However after thinking about for a couple weeks (yes, it took me that long to begin writing this...the more you know about me, the more u will understand that!) I realized that the word BECOME was thrown in there by my insecure personality...u see, I am already beautiful, radiant and strong...I don't need to become these things, I simply need to discover them within myself. 

So anyway back to the intro.  I am from Chicago, IL...born and raised by a single school teacher/superwoman.  My mom's shoes are some hard ones to fill.  With well over 4 degrees, 20 years of teaching and an almost spotless record as a high school principal, consultant and various other do-goodie things, we could never go anywhere without running into an old student or colleague with a story of how my mother changed their life.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of that woman, but sometimes my jealous peronsality takes over.  Sometimes I think my mom skipped the whole catapillar/cocoon stage and was born as a full fledged butterfly.  I haven't had as much success in my life...yet. I'm still in my chrysallis, my wings have yet to form...but they're getting there.   5 years ago, I gave birth to my own little catepillar, Mecca.  Being a mother, especially a single one, has made me realize my strength, my independence, my importance and my creativity.  Mecca brings out in me all I thought I'd lost, or never knew was there.  She, too, is my inspiration for writing again.

About 2 years ago, I made a decision to change my life.  I packed my kid, my pillow and moved to Atlanta, GA. I chose ATL in part because my best friend had just moved here.  I also had a brother, cousin, aunt and uncle and various friends here so I figured if I'm gonna start over...might as well have a support system set up.  Unfortunately things have not gone exactly as planned for me...yet.  And this is where I begin my story...through this blog, I intend to heal, to grow, to succeed and to immerge, finally as the beautiful butterfly that I feel inside.  I hope that you will keep reading...I could really use the support!  Peace, beautiful butterflies!

Jocelyn