I know a lot of people are struggling with this. Someone has done you wrong and at this point, you despise them, or you're even bordering on hating that person. You can't believe that someone so close to you betrayed you or took your kindness for weakness. Maybe they stole from you, maybe they cheated on you. Whatever it was, they tore your heart apart.

Does a person like this deserve your forgiveness? And how do you find it in your heart to do so?

First you must realize what the action of forgiveness is truly about.

Forgiveness does not excuse or erase a person's trangressions or actions. It doesn't right a wrong. When you tell someone "I forgive you", it doesn't mean "I will allow you to do the same thing to me again."

Forgiveness is defined in the Webster's dictionary as "To pardon or absolve" and "To give up resentment" (Webster's Dictionary c 1997)

That means that you let go. You let go of the hurt and the pain that the person may have caused by their actions.

When we forgive, it tells the person that hurt us "I acknowledge what you did and I'm going to let go of the pain and harm that it caused me and move on."

Whoa! That's a huge leap to take. How many of us can do that when we feel deep in our souls that we have been wronged by someone? That pain makes us wish that person was feeling the same emotions of pain that we are going through.

So how do you forgive.... and move on?

1. Take time out. Don't think that you can say "I forgive you" immediately. It make take days, or months, or years to forgive... and that's okay. Forgiving stems from healing and sometimes when we are hurt, we cannot heal at that moment.

2. Pray on it and ask for guidance . Believe it or not, you are not the first person to go through your issues. There is someone else out there who has already walked that road. Draw from their strength. Ask them what it took for them to forgive. Find a Bible verse that speaks to you and helps to guide you through your emotions.

3. Put the words into the universe . Maybe the person you are forgiving is no longer alive. Maybe it would not be safe for you to talk to the person you are forgivingWrite them a letter or simply lift the words into the universe to release it from your being. If you have the chance, explain to the person how they hurt you and explain that you are willing to forgive them and how they hurt you.

4. Put boundaries on the relationship . Maybe it was a sibling that did you wrong. Obviously you will still have contact with them. Don't be afraid to say "I love and forgive you, but we will never deal with each other financially again." You have to draw the boundary lines to let them know how the relationship has changed because of their actions- and stick to it!

5. MOVE ON! You can't forgive someone and always bring up the issue over and over. That means you haven't gotten over it. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, and this may be confusing. Don't forget what this person is capable of- no need to be a fool twice, but now that you know, be happy for the knowledge and move on. If you have truly forgiven, you have resolved the issue in your soul and that person's actions no longer have the power to anger you!

Forgiveness takes time and effort! If you have decided that you want to truly forgive, make sure that you are ready to heal and ready to let go. Forgiving is a huge step in the healing process for self! There's no need to live life bitter when you have the alternative of forgiving and freeing yourself from the strongholds of resentment and anger!

Love, Peace, and Blessings

Tamara

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